Disclaimer: I received entry to the virtual Governor’s Cup Half Marathon to review as part of being a BibRave Pro. Learn more about becoming a BibRave Pro (ambassador), and check out BibRave.com to review find and write race reviews!
HOLY CRAP. What a freaking year 2020 has been already. Anybody else wish 2020 would go take a long walk off of a short pier? Just me? I’m over it. I’m trying to be positive through this whole COVID situation that we’re in, but if I’m being honest, it’s getting really difficult for me to stay positive. I never want to come across as something that I’m not, so this blog is going to be my very real, very raw feelings. There have been a few positive things that I’ve taken away from quarantining, so I don’t want to discredit that at all. But for the most part, the last few months have been very, very difficult.
I started working from home on March 18th, and initially it was awesome. I could sleep in until the minute that I had to clock in, I could lay in bed all day, eat all the snacks, and walk around without pants or a bra on… What’s better than that?! It sounds like a dream life at first, but then the anxiety slowly starts to creep in. While I was still getting my work done, I was constantly worried that my boss’s would think I was slacking off. I was worried that my working from home would disturb my boyfriend, who was also working from home (we live together). My grandfather had been back and forth between the hospital and extended care for two months, and just when he started getting a lot better, just two days before they were going to let him go home, everything went wrong and he passed away. For the last month of his life, he wasn’t allowed any visitors because of COVID. My grandmother had to beg to get to visit him regularly. I never got to say goodbye because I live across the country, and that absolutely broke my heart. I just want, more than anything, to be able to go home to visit my family. My youngest sister is completing her junior year at UCLA online (not ideal), my other little sister was laid off from her big corporate job, and as for me and my boyfriend, we’re doing all that we can to make the best of this crazy situation.
I started struggling with anxiety and depression during the summer going into my junior year of high school. I’ll get into that more in another post, but that’s initially how I found running. Running was a way to release my anxiety, and calm my depression, if only for 30 minutes of the day. As I’ve grown older and my anxiety symptoms and triggers have evolved, I’ve found that running doesn’t always fix whatever is going on to make me feel anxious. More often than not, now, running is my way of preventing anxiety and depression from creeping in, rather than getting rid of it once it has arrived. I set goals for myself and plan races well in advance to keep me motivated and consistent, which would hopefully keep my anxiety at bay. And then COVID hit. And then my first race of the year, was cancelled. And then the second. And then the third. And now I’m just holding out hope that the Chicago Marathon is able to happen in October.
When I planned out my race calendar at the beginning of the year, I was STOKED. I was planning what I like to call a “half marathon tour of Montana”. I was going to run the Whitefish Half Marathon in May, the Governor’s Cup Half Marathon in Helena in June, and then the Missoula Half Marathon and 5K at the end of June. What a fun way to travel the state on my feet, right?! I thought so too, until everything was cancelled. I will say, I 100% agree with the decision that these races made to cancel. Each one is a large event that draws competitors from all over the nation to compete together, and then when you add the crowd support on top of that, a million problems could arrive. Montana has done a great job at keeping the COVID cases to a minimum, in fact our county has only had one confirmed case so far, and that person fully recovered. Had these events gone ahead as scheduled, I’m sure our situation in Montana would have gotten a lot worse.
I can’t even begin to imagine what these race directors are going through right now. To have to not only make the decision to cancel a race, but to also have to bear the burden of knowing that many people could suffer financial loss as a result of cancelled travel arrangements and race registration fees. It’s not a responsibility that any of them ever thought they would have to carry, and yet they are all doing so with so much grace and concern for the safety of their runners and communities.
With all that being said, here’s where I stand with running: I abandoned my half marathon training plan that I was following so diligently, and decided to start just running for fun. Then more races started to open up virtual options and I just couldn’t resist the bling! And after all, why would I let all that training that I was doing go to waste?? So, I signed up for a bunch of virtual races and decided to run a virtual half for each of my races that were cancelled. I may have gone a little overboard and registered for 5 virtual half marathons and 2 virtual 10K races, instead of just the 3 halves that I was registered for… But more is always better, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself!
In addition to signing up for virtual races, I’m also focusing on my overall mental and physical health. Kyle and I are cooking at home a lot more, and I’ve even started mixing in different types of workouts. I signed up for the free trial of the Peloton app and have been using that for daily meditation and yoga. We’ve also been taking our pup for long walks every evening, and taking him to the park for all of the running his little beagle heart desires. Probably the best thing to come from COVID is that I’m getting a lot more family time in. While I live in Montana, my little sister lives in Denver, my baby sister just moved home from UCLA to live with my parents on the central coast of California, and my inlaws live in the Eastern Sierras in California. We’re all pretty spread out, to say the least. My family set up a weekly virtual happy hour, which always ends up lasting all night, and we call my inlaws at least once a week to check in. More than anything, this quarantine is teaching me that connecting with family and friends is easier than I have made it out to be. I think this is a tradition that we will continue, even after COVID is behind us!
While racing in person has been cancelled for at least the first half of the year, I am starting to turn my focus to next year. I’m grateful that Governor’s Cup has given us the option to either defer our registration to next year, receive a 50% refund, or donate the full registration fee to one of the charities that the race partners with. While I have no idea whether or not we will still be in Montana next year (things can change pretty quickly with my boyfriend’s job), I am anticipating we’ll be here for the next couple of years, so I have chosen to defer my registration to 2021. I was so dang excited to run this race and see a part of the state that I have yet to see. I am grateful for all of the folks who worked hard to put this race on, and can’t wait to get the chance to run it next summer!!
If you are like me and are struggling with COVID, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. It is such a crazy time for all of us, and I think we could all stand to practice just a little more grace and compassion. I will be posting a series of COVID-related articles, so I would love input on what y’all would like to see! Until next time, keep staying true to you and prioritizing your mental and physical health. Love y’all!
Britt Runs the World 
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